at least daddy can cook...

A Difficult Dozen

2012-03-09T09:35:00.001Z

So I was tagged in this meme AGES ago and I've been feeling guilty for not doing it ever since. I have finally got round to answering the questions from the lovely Blue at bluebirdsunshine and I hope she forgives my blatant disregard of the other rules.

Here are the rules:

1) You must post the rules.

2) Post 12 fun facts about yourself in the blog post.

3) Answer the questions the tagger has set for you in their post and then create 12 new questions for the fellow bloggers you plan to tag.

4) Tag 12 people and link to them on your blog.

5) Let them know you tagged them.

The questions from bluebirdsunshine:

1. What’s your favourite cheese?

Ooh, this is a tough one. Cheese is one of my favourite things in the whole world. I'd go for a good old reliable white cheddar - I would never, ever not be in the mood for a chunk of this!

2. Where in Europe would you go, or have you been lucky enough to have been, on a romantic weekend getaway?

I'd go to Paris. I've been twice, once as a toddler and once as a teenager. I'd love to see if it lives up to my expectations as an adult.

3. Do you have a beauty regime, if so what is it?

A face wipe and ton of moisturiser before bed and that's about it!

4. What song would you do at karaoke?

I would never, ever subject anyone to my singing. It's strictly for the shower, in the car and while hoovering the house. (If I could hold a tune, it would be Kylie's Can't Get You Out of my Head…la la la, la la la la la…)

5. Name something you dread doing.

My taxes, renewing my insurance, filling out forms - I have a completely irrational fear of any sort of official paperwork.

6. Post your favourite photo, of anything, from any time.

I love this impromptu shot, I took it with Photo Booth on the Mac. Two happy faces, waiting for the (enormous!) bump to become a little sister.

7. If you suddenly had an extra hour in the day today, what would you do with it?

I'd love to say I'd go for a nice long walk on the beach to get some fresh air, clear my head, get some perspective on life etc etc. But in reality, I'd probably procrastinate for half an hour and then spend the rest of the time publicly berating myself for it on social networking sites.

8. What’s your favourite family tradition?

Can I say drinking?!

9. Do you believe in ghosts or spirits?

No, but I'm open to hearing why I should...

10. If you could choose anyone at all to write a guest post on your blog, who would it be?

Ruby Wax. Love her.

11. What are your top three girls and top three boys names?

Apart from my children's names, I love Olivia, Rose and Ramona for girls and Matthew, Max and Thomas for boys.

12. Tell me one thing you really want to do before the year is over.

Running (and surviving) a half marathon is one of many on my list.

Project 366 - Day 68/366

2012-03-08T22:14:00.001Z

That's my boy.

Can Mummy Make Pad Thai?

2012-03-08T12:13:00.000Z

There are a few dishes I'm desperate to know how to make, simply because I love eating them so much! Pad Thai is one of them. Thailand is one of my favourite places in the world. The first time I tried it, I wasn't as adventurous with food as I am now, and I was blown away by the flavours. I've been reluctant to order it in the UK after forcing my way through a really disappointing interpretation of this classic Thai dish from a local Chinese takeaway restaurant.

I looked at loads of Pad Thai recipes - in books and online - to decide what ingredients I wanted to use.

(to serve 2-3)

2 tbsp oil

2 eggs, lightly beaten

Small bunch spring onions

Raw tiger prawns

500g egg noodles

3 tbsp caster sugar

Pinch of salt

1 tbsp dark soy sauce

1 tbsp oyster sauce

150g beansprouts

Handful of peanuts

2 small red chilies

2 small green chilies

3 tbsp taramind paste

1/2 a lime

1. Trim and slice the spring onions and chop the chilies.

2. Toast the peanuts in a pan for a couple of minutes, roughly crush on a chopping board and set aside.

3. Add oil to a small frying pan and crack in the eggs. Break up the yolks and whites and swirl them around to make a thin omelette. Transfer onto a plate, slice into thin strips and set aside.

4. Add oil to a wok, add the spring onions and cook for a couple of minutes. Add a little more oil and add the prawns. Cook until they start to turn pink.

5. Add the noodles and around 100ml of water. Cook noodles until they soften.

6. Add the sugar, salt, soy sauce, oyster sauce, beansprouts, peanuts, chilies and tamarind paste. Cook for a few minutes, mixing gently.

7. Add the omelette strips and mix.

8. Add a squeeze of lime juice.

I was so pleased with how this turned out! As you can see, I wasn't the only one...Little J's first taste of Thailand!

Project 366 - 67/366

2012-03-07T20:59:00.001Z

Showing off.

Homeopathy: The cure I've been looking for? Or a big fat con?

2012-03-07T12:39:00.002Z

I attended a psoriasis clinic at my doctor's surgery recently, dragging my heels like a child going to the dentist. I've been to lots of these things. My days of expecting to be told of an amazing new treatment that would clear my skin once and for all are long gone. There's no psoriasis treatment I haven't read about, researched and considered.

The first thing I noticed at the clinic was that I was the youngest person there - by about 30 years. Since when have only old people had psoriasis? I was bloody 19 when it first invaded my life. I felt like I had gatecrashed a senior coffee morning. They quickly took me under their wing, keen to pass on their nuggets of wisdom ("psoriasis is hereditary, but it skips a generation"…"psoriasis shampoo makes my hair so dry!")

Two things I've never tried to treat my psoriasis are systemic therapy and biologics. These are remedies taken either orally or by injection, which work in different ways depending on the specific medicine. They may decrease the rate of cell division or alter the immune responses of the body. I've heard they can work really well and in some cases have completely cleared the patient's skin. But the list of potential side effects is scary. One of the women at the clinic had to stop taking her medication because it damaged her liver. As soon as she stopped it, her psoriasis came back worse than ever. I'm just not willing to take those risks - yet.

I've believed for years that stress is a trigger for psoriasis, and this was confirmed at the clinic. Listening to the rest of the group talk about how their lives are affected by their condition made me realise that I may have to change my approach. I've made lots of dietary changes lately following my food tolerance test, but to be honest I don't think they have made much difference to my skin.

I've read a few reports and articles over the years about treating psoriasis with homeopathy, but have always regarded it with a healthy dose of cynicism. I'm open-minded when it comes to natural alternatives to conventional medicine, but homeopathy is a whole different story.

According to The Society of Homeopaths, homeopathy is:

"a system of medicine which involves treating the individual with highly diluted substances, given mainly in tablet form, with the aim of triggering the body’s natural system of healing. Based on their specific symptoms, a homeopath will match the most appropriate medicine to each patient."

Homeopathic medicine works on a "like cures like" basis, i.e. a substance that would cause certain symptoms if consumed in large doses can treat those exact symptoms if taken in very small doses (using caffeine to treat chronic insomnia, for example).

Homeopathic remedies are diluted to the highest possible degree in order for them to reach their maximum potency. This goes against the rule of science at the core of conventional medicine: the more concentrated a dissolved substance is, the stronger and more powerful it becomes. So there is absolutely no common ground between conventional medicine and homeopathy.

I was lucky enough to get a referral to the nearest NHS Homeopathic Hospital* from my GP, who understood that conventional psoriasis treatments were simply not working for me. Or perhaps he just wanted to get rid of me for being in his office yet again.

So I drove the 30 miles to my appointment with some trepidation. I had no idea what to expect. Certainly, I had no idea that my 90-minute session with the kind Irish doctor would involve me talking about my childhood and my relationships, and have me in tears (homeopathy focuses on treating the "whole person" and not just the diagnosis of the disease or condition). Even if the little vial of powder she prescribed me has no effect, it was the best therapy session I've ever had.

*Yes, this is controversial - there is little support for NHS funded homeopathy due to the lack of evidence that it actually works. Those who oppose homeopathy claim that so-called "success stories" can be put down to the placebo effect.

Project 366 - Day 66/366

2012-03-06T14:35:00.000Z

Helping.

Can Mummy Make Coconut Noodles?

2012-03-06T09:25:00.002Z

I had loads of coconut milk in the cupboard so I asked around for a good savoury recipe and one of my friends gave me this one.

(to serve 2-3)

Rice noodles, enough for 2-3 people
2 chicken breasts, cut into strips
1/2 can coconut milk
Chicken stock
1 shallot or small red onion
3 cloves garlic
1 2-inch piece of ginger
1/2 tsp ground coriander
1/2 tsp hot chili powder
1 red chili
1 bay leaf
3 tbsp fish sauce
2-3 tbsp lime juice
1 tsp brown sugar
Fresh coriander, to garnish

1. Finely chop the onion, ginger and red chili. Chop and crush the garlic.

2. Add the stock to a wok and bring it to the boil. Add the onion, garlic, ginger, ground coriander, chili powder, red chili and bay leaf, and boil for another few minutes.

3. Add the chicken strips and bring the heat down to medium. As it simmers, turn the chicken occasionally until cooked.

4. Reduce heat further and add the fish sauce, lime juice, brown sugar and coconut milk. Stir well.

5. Cook the rice noodles according to the packet directions. Aim to have them not quite al dente (still a little undercooked in the middle). Drain and rinse with cold water.

6. Add noodles to the wok and gently mix them with the sauce until hot.

7. Taste! Add to your sauce until it is to your liking. Mine tasted too fishy (I had forgotten how strong fish sauce is!) so I added more lime juice. If it's too spicy, add more coconut milk.

8. Garnish with fresh coriander.

Project 366 - Day 65/366

2012-03-05T22:11:00.001Z

All partied out.

Project 366 - Day 64/366

2012-03-04T20:21:00.002Z

Three parties in one day!

Project 366 - Day 63/366

2012-03-03T23:03:00.003Z

Wrapping presents for tomorrow's party marathon.

Project 366 - Day 62/366

2012-03-02T18:16:00.001Z

Our favourite duck.

Project 366 - Day 61/366

2012-03-01T18:04:00.001Z

6.52 am.

Project 366 - Day 60/366

2012-02-29T22:57:00.001Z

Light.

Project 366 - Day 59/366

2012-02-28T20:38:00.000Z

Cuddle before bed.

Project 366 - Day 58/366

2012-02-27T17:11:00.002Z

Bored with regular tower building.

Project 366 - Day 57/366

2012-02-26T19:58:00.000Z

Meet Cheeky and Cheekier.

Project 366 - Day 56/366

2012-02-26T08:26:00.000Z

Party dress.

Project 366 - Day 55/366

2012-02-24T20:25:00.001Z

Exhausted.

Project 366 - Day 54/366

2012-02-23T21:41:00.000Z

A rare display of sibling affection.

Project 366 - Day 53/366

2012-02-22T22:07:00.003Z

Mischief making!

Project 366 - Day 52/366

2012-02-21T22:25:00.001Z

Pancakes!

Project 366 - Day 51/366

2012-02-20T19:41:00.002Z

In the bath.

11 Questions

2012-02-20T18:59:00.001Z

I'm pretty lousy at following up on memes so I was determined to get this one done for the lovely Sarah of Sarah Mum of 3.

The idea of this meme is that you answer the 11 questions set for you, come up with 11 more questions and then tag 11 bloggers to answer them!

First of all, my answers to Sarah's questions:

1. What made you start blogging?

I just love to write. I actually started another blog long before this one, but it didn't feel right. I was determined not to be typecast as another "mummy blogger", so I deliberately avoided writing about that part of my life. The result was a bunch of depressing posts about my deepest, darkest thoughts. I quickly realised how stupid this was. Being a mum is my most important role and I'm proud to say that my life revolves around my children. I'm a mummy, I'm a blogger, and I wear the "mummy blogger" badge with pride. Even more so now that I have had the honour of meeting so many incredibly lovely, supportive and inspirational fellow mummy bloggers.

2. Thinking of your most popular blog post...why did you write it?

My most popular (in terms of page views) blog post is Admission: I'm a Co-Sleeper. I was inspired to write this post after reading an article about the Milwaukee Health Department Dangers of Co-Sleeping ads on The TRUTH About Motherhood blog. It made me think back to how some people had reacted when I told them my son slept in our bed. I really regretted not standing up for myself a bit more at the time. Those people may never read my blog, but putting my view across in a measured, well-informed way was very important to me.

3. What's your most annoying habit?

I'm probably not the best person to answer this one! The one that annoys me the most is my incessant habit of over-analysing absolutely everything. My family would probably be able to list several more...

4. What's your all time favourite song?

Hallelujah (either the Jeff Buckley or Leonard Cohen version). Every time I hear it I get goosebumps and I can literally feel my heart swell. Here's Jeff Buckley himself - amazing.

5. Which season do you like best and why?

Summer. I love feeling the sun on my skin. If Scotland doesn't have enough of it, I make sure I go somewhere that does!

6. Do you have any siblings?

Yes - one of each flavour. I was four when my sister was born and my brother came along seven years later.

7. Who's your oldest friend?

Lovely G - we met when we were three! Thirty years later we're on opposite sides of the world but that bond will always be there. She's like family to me.

8. What's your favourite childhood memory?

Playing outside our house on warm summer evenings. My dad built a house and a shop side by side and the small car park at the back was always full of kids, riding bikes and playing tag. I remember my dad cycling around with my sister on the front handlebars. Such happy, carefree times.

9. What's your biggest regret?

I really try not to dwell on regrets, but I do have some. I don't believe people who say they have none! Probably one of my biggest regrets is not being more assertive when I was younger, which meant some people were able to walk all over me. It's really important to me that I give my children the skills and knowledge to stand up for themselves.

10. What's your favourite achievement?

I know I should probably say my children here, but I don't really see them as an "achievement" - more of a miracle! Running 10 miles in the 2009 Stockport Road Race was a massive achievement for me. I started running to try to work my way through bad post-natal depression, and finishing that race under my target time, with my husband and son cheering me on, was a truly amazing, emotional moment.

11. What's the one main goal you hope to achieve before this year is out?

To self-publish my book. Actually, make that finish my book…hopefully I'll do both!

My 11 Questions:

1. What do you get out of blogging?
2. What would be your ideal job?
3. What is your favourite film?
4. Who inspires you?
5. What is the biggest mistake you have ever made?
6. What is your best character trait?
7. What is our favourite item of clothing?
8. What was the best thing that happened to you last year?
9. What famous person do you admire?
10. What one thing would you change about the country you live in?
11. Where do you see yourself in five years' time?

And the bloggers I'm tagging (not quite 11 of them I'm afraid!):

1. Kate of Life, Love and Living with Boys
2. Sonia of Mummy Loves...
3. Claire of Grumpinator - The Wean Machine
4. Steph of Steph's Two Girls
5. Sara of Tis The Life - Of A First Time Mum

Finally the rules if you want to join in:

1. You must post these rules.
2. Each person must post 11 things about herself on their blog.
3. Answer the questions the “tagger” listed for you in her post, and create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.
4. Choose 11 people to tag and link to them in the post.
5. Let each blogger know that you have tagged them.

Project 366 - Day 50/366

2012-02-19T19:40:00.003Z

Hurry up Mummy.

Can Mummy Make Chocolate Chip Sponge?

2012-02-19T10:03:00.002Z

(to serve 12)

150g butter

175g dark brown soft sugar

150g caster sugar

3 eggs

200g plain flour

90g wholemeal flour

2.5 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon salt

250ml milk

1.5 teaspoons vanilla extract

170g dark chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 180C/350F/Gas 4.

Grease and flour two 23cm round cake tins.

Cream together butter and sugars in a large bowl. Beat in the eggs.

Sift together the flours, salt and baking powder in another bowl. Add this alternately with the milk to the creamed mixture.

Stir in the vanilla. Chop the chocolate chips coarsely and add to the batter.

I had a little helper for the best bits - adding the chocolate chips!

Pour batter into prepared tins and bake for 25 to 30 minutes.

I had high hopes for this cake, but I was disappointed. First of all, all the chocolate chips sank to the bottom of the cake and got stuck on the cake tin base. And it just wasn't as moist as it should have been. I'm beginning to realise that even the most simple cake recipes don't always turn out as planned...

Project 366 - Day 49/366

2012-02-18T20:55:00.000Z

Nap time.

Project 366 - Day 48/366

2012-02-17T20:53:00.002Z

Yum.

Project 366 - Day 47/366

2012-02-16T20:11:00.002Z

Insisting on feeding herself, one grain of rice at a time.

Project 366 - Day 46/366

2012-02-15T20:29:00.003Z

Hello new teeth.

Project 366 - Day 45/366

2012-02-14T18:41:00.002Z

Feeding the ducks.

Project 366 - Day 44/366

2012-02-13T22:32:00.003Z

My two little Valentines.

Project 366 - Day 43/366

2012-02-12T22:36:00.001Z

The Ayrshire coast, looking for seals.

Can Mummy Make Chickpea and Lemon Burgers?

2012-02-12T09:54:00.000Z

I really want to try some vegetarian recipes so I thought this recipe for chickpea and lemon burgers would be a good place to start. Mr J is a red meat lover, so we'll see what he thinks of these…

(for 4 to 6 burgers)

2 medium potatoes, peeled
400g can of chickpeas
juice of a large lemon
1 small onion, very finely chopped
1 clove of garlic, finely chopped
50g cheddar or other hard cheese, grated
2 tsp chopped fresh herbs (I used parsley)
salt and pepper to taste
flour for coating
oil for roasting

Preheat oven to 170C/325F/Gas mark 4.

Cut potatoes into quarters and boil until they are soft.

Drain and rinse the chickpeas and mash half of them in a large bowl. Add the lemon juice and mash some more.

Drain potatoes and mash. Add them to the mashed chickpeas, the whole chickpeas and all other ingredients (expect flour and oil). Mix well.

Flour a chopping board. Form the mixture into patty shapes and coat them with flour on both sides.

Place in an oiled roasting tin. Cook for around 30 minutes, turning halfway.

I think I used too much potato, but these still turned out pretty well and tasted great! I served them with sweet potato chips (made by Mr J - I can't take the credit for those) and a green salad. I was so busy scoffing I forgot to take a picture...

Project 366 - Day 42/366

2012-02-11T21:41:00.001Z

7 of the 11 cousins. My favourite little people, to mark my 100th blog post.

Project 366 - Day 41/366

2012-02-10T20:07:00.003Z

Not very happy with the concept of Misfits. Wants everything to match.

The Art of Compromise

2012-02-10T12:23:00.000Z

In a few weeks time, the grotty old outbuildings on the back of our house are going to be knocked down. I'm worried. Not about the mess, or about the thought of my husband wielding a sledgehammer, or even about where we are going to store the boxes and boxes of ~~junk~~ husband's precious knick knacks when their current home is no more.

I'm worried about what comes afterwards. You may already know that my husband and I don't see eye to eye on a lot of things. This is most true when it comes to our home.

Apparently moving house is one of the most stressful things you will ever do in your life. Not true. In our case, the moving part is a dawdle. It's what happens afterwards that brings me out in a cold sweat and fills me with dread.

Decorating.

It took us many tortuous hours to decide on wallpaper for the hall, because we couldn't agree. As with many things of the marital nature, we had to compromise. I hate compromise. Not because I'm so stubborn and pigheaded that I can't see things from someone else's point of view (honestly!). Nor because I think my ideas/tastes/wallpaper samples are superior to somebody else's. It's because we end up settling.

I hate his first, second and possibly third choice of wallpaper. Ditto he with mine. So we go for the first one we both like in equal amounts. Which is number 4 on both our lists. We settle for a wallpaper that neither of us love, just because neither of us hates it.

Six months after we moved into our house, we still had a pile of pictures gathering dust in the corner of the room. Actually, make that two piles. His and Hers. It was the wallpaper all over again. But more difficult. How do we compromise on what pictures to hang on the walls? Bin everything that doesn't get the thumbs up from both of us and go out and buy all new stuff? No. We proceed on a 'one for one' basis. So he gets to hang his ancient picture of a grouse (or partridge, or pheasant, or some other grotty old game bird) in the upstairs hallway, on the condition that I can display my black and white Time magazine ballerina photograph in my daughter's bedroom. (We all know who got the best deal here, hmmm? Which one do we see every time we walk down the stairs?)

I have never met a man who has to be so involved in the decoration of our home. Previous cohabitees did not give a rat's ass about what type of rug was on the floor of the living room. Growing up, it was certainly my mum who made all home decor decisions. I don't think my dad would even notice if she papered the kitchen with neon stripes and installed a disco light over the breakfast bar.

I realised what a problem this was when we recently replaced our crumbly old bathroom suite with a brand new one. We decided to go for it and retile the walls and floor at the same time. That bathroom became the bane of my life for the next two months. Dear husband set me a budget with strict instructions not to go over it. At the same time, he went through the B&Q catalogue, marking the items he liked. Problem number 1: the incompatibility of his expensive taste with the amount he was prepared to spend. I told myself it was a challenge, and set about finding cheaper options that looked as much like the expensive ones as possible. You want a square shower bath with a mahogany side panel? No problem, here's one at half the price! I have no idea how many hours of my life I ~~wasted~~ spent on cheapestbathroomsintheworld.com, but I did until I had everything we needed, at a fraction of the price we initially thought it would be.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, this was all a waste of time. After the floor tiles were down my husband decided he didn't like them anymore, because they looked cheap. At this point I counted to ten and then calmly reminded him of the budget, which unfortunately did not make expensive tiles an option. So why was he so surprised that cheap floor tiles looked….cheap? Reader, I wanted to lamp him.

Anyway, up came the first lot of floor tiles and down went another lot. I love them, they are beautiful, but they were six times more expensive than the original ones. Yes, six times. In one fell swoop, husband blew his budget out of the water.

So, while the prospect of extending our home is exciting, I'm completely dreading it. We will have a whole new room to argue about. The floor, the walls, the lighting, the furniture. Wooden floor or tiles? Blinds or curtains? A double vodka or a large glass of wine? No, that wasn't a misprint. That's what I'm going to need to get me through it. Wish me luck.

Before.

During.

After.

I should mention Chris Lennox, the local contractor who created this lovely bathroom for us and had to hear us bickering about tiles over and over again. You can find his website here.

Project 366 - Day 40/366

2012-02-09T22:09:00.001Z

Prefers to do the nappy changing herself than have her own changed...

Project 366 - Day 39/366

2012-02-08T20:00:00.001Z

Cheeky.

Project 366 - Day 38/366

2012-02-07T21:55:00.001Z

Happy girl.

Can Mummy Make Blueberry Muffins?

2012-02-07T13:17:00.001Z

As I seem to be on a bit of a roll with this baking lark, I decided to try muffins this week. I looked at dozens of different recipes online and finally, swayed by the promise of "the best blueberry muffins ever", I chose this one. More importantly, it seemed pretty foolproof. Oh, how little I knew.

(to make 12 muffins)

110g plain flour

110g butter

65g caster sugar

2 free-range eggs

1.5 tsp baking powder

125g blueberries

pinch nutmeg

Cream the butter and sugar together then slowly add the eggs and mix for three minutes.

Add the flour, baking powder and nutmeg, and stir to combine. Refrigerate for at least an hour, preferably overnight.

Place a spoonful of muffin mixture into each muffin case, filling each to just over half way. Place eight blueberries in each muffin.

Bake in the oven at 200C/400F/Gas 6 for 20 minutes, or until golden on top.

It didn't quite go to plan. My muffins looked ok (from a distance), but turned out more like bricks than delicious, soft, squidgy treats. I have no idea what went wrong, but I think it could be a combination of factors:

My creaming technique could do with some improvement.

My muffin cases were too shallow.

I left them in the oven for too long.

Does anyone have a muffin secret they're willing to share with me?

Project 366 - Day 37/366

2012-02-06T20:29:00.003Z

Wants to walk everywhere.

Project 366 - Day 36/366

2012-02-05T21:06:00.003Z

Clearly watching rugby and drinking beer is just too exhausting.

Project 366 - Day 35/366

2012-02-04T20:05:00.001Z

My water baby.

Project 366 - Day 34/366

2012-02-03T22:46:00.000Z

Fun.

Project 366 - Day 33/366

2012-02-02T18:38:00.002Z

Only the most urgent of nappy situations call for a bath in the sink.

Project 366 - Day 32/366

2012-02-01T18:52:00.003Z

That bench has my name on it.

Project 366 - Day 31/366

2012-01-31T18:43:00.001Z

Can't beat the park in the dark.

Can Mummy Make Chocolate and Almond Cake with Brandy Cream?

2012-01-31T13:52:00.002Z

(to serve 8)

125g dark chocolate

4 eggs

150g caster sugar

150g ground almonds

Icing sugar for dusting

for the brandy cream:

100ml double cream

1-2 tbsp icing sugar

2 tbsp brandy

Preheat oven to 180C/350F/gas mark 4. Prepare two 18cm cake tins by oiling the sides and lining the bases with greaseproof paper.

Melt the chocolate in a bowl over a saucepan of simmering water.

While the chocolate is melting, place the eggs and sugar in a mixer and whisk until light and frothy.

Once melted, leave the chocolate to cool for a minute or two, then mix in the egg and sugar, stirring constantly. Stir in the ground almonds.

Divide the mixture between the two tins and put them in the oven. Leave them to bake until the centre of the cake is firm to touch.

Leave cakes to cool for 10 mins in their tins before moving them to a wire rack.

To make the brandy cream, whip cream until stiff, then fold in sugar and brandy. Spread entire mixture it on one cake, then sandwich them together. Dust with icing sugar.

Verdict? I wasn't sure what it was supposed to look like and I was worried it hadn't risen enough, then I realised there was no flour in it....

Thumbs up from those who had no choice but to eat it.

Project 366 - Day 30/366

2012-01-30T20:10:00.001Z

As clean as a whistle.

Project 366 - Day 29/366

2012-01-29T21:07:00.000Z

"Mummy! There's a baby cheetah under the table!"

This is what happens when I leave big brother in charge for two minutes...

Project 366 - Day 28/366

2012-01-28T16:38:00.001Z

Work in progress.

An Odd Day for a Good Cause

2012-01-27T21:25:00.000Z

Little J's school had a fundraising 'Odd Day' today to raise money for Vanessa Riddle, a local 9-year old girl who has neuroblastoma, an extremely rare, aggressive and difficult to treat type of childhood cancer. Vanessa needs to go to America for life-saving treatment, and the local community are really getting involved with lots of fundraising events.

Read more about Vanessa here.

Little J doing his bit.

Project 366 - Day 27/366

2012-01-27T21:11:00.001Z

Custard fiends.

Project 366 - Day 26/366

2012-01-26T21:25:00.002Z

Please brush your teeth!

But Mummy...

The Grasse is Greener...

2012-01-26T11:18:00.000Z

image courtesy of PostersMania.com

Whenever I want to escape from the dismal, damp British weather (regularly) but know there's no chance of actually feeling the sun on my skin anytime soon (ie. ever), I close my eyes and try to take myself back to July 2008.

We went to Grasse, a small town inland from the coast of the French Riviera. Grasse is built on the side of a hill, so the big old house we rented had spectacular views of the countryside and the valley leading down to the sparkling Mediterranean sea.

This was our first proper family holiday with Little J, who was only 7 months old at the time: teething, crawling, getting into everything. Mr J was leaving halfway through to fly back to London on business. Also with us were my parents, my sister, her daughter and fiance, my brother and his girlfriend and - at different times over the fortnight - several friends of my parents. My family are close, but tensions always run high when we spend too long in one place together.

So, despite the beautiful setting and glorious weather, it had the potential to be a bit of a nightmare.

It wasn't. Sure, we argued, made up, and argued again. About ridiculous things, like whose turn it was to walk down the hill for the pain au chocolate, or who was cheating at Taboo. Occasionally, after too much vin rouge, more serious family politics aired their disagreeable heads then skulked away, unresolved.

Regardless of all that, and despite my lingering baby belly insecurities, I had an amazing time. It was as if the fragrant Grasse air (it is known as the world's perfume capital, after all) had an almost soporific effect on me. The minute I arrived, I could feel the tension of the previous few months evaporating.

Grasse is only 10 miles from Cannes, the playground of the rich and famous and perfect spot for shopping, cocktails and celebrity spotting. But nothing could coax me away from our temporary haven. Grasse is altogether a different kettle of fish to its decadent neighbour. The old town dates back to the 17th century, with fascinating architecture, quaint little cafes and interesting boutiques. We spent a couple of afternoons pottering around, visiting the Cathedral of Notre Dame du Puy, Place aux Aires with its three tiered fountain, and of course the Musee Fragonard (Perfume Museum).

On most days, we stayed by the pool. I snatched a few hours of reading (and snoozing) whenever Little J napped in the travel cot under the shade of the olive tree. When he was awake, we'd splash in the water. The day revolved around meal times - planning the evening's feast before we'd even finished breakfast. We ate like kings - sea bass grilled on the barbecue, tarte aux tomatoes, huge bowls of fresh pastas with olives and summer vegetables. Everything homemade, and washed down with a healthy amount of French wine.

Our trip to Grasse will always have a special place in my heart. It was my first holiday as a mum, still coming to terms with my new life and trying to work out what my future held. Everything just seemed to come together for those two weeks, and it felt great.

image courtesy of Hotels.com

This is my entry to the Tots100/Al Fresco Holidays competition. You can find out more about Al Fresco here and enter the competition here.

Project 366 - Day 25/366

2012-01-25T21:18:00.001Z

Winding each other up and showing no signs of going to bed.

The Games Go Gaga

2012-01-25T18:37:00.000Z

Mr J loves sport. Watching it, that is. (Although to give credit where credit's due, he does jog round the block now and again, and has recently been playing rugby on Saturdays.)

He'll watch any kind of sport on telly. All the obvious ones: rugby, cricket, golf, football, women's beach volleyball… And all the utterly boring ones: snooker, darts, curling*… He is, quite frankly, sport daft.

So when the first batch of tickets for the London 2012 Olympic Games went on sale last year, he was incredibly excited. He had our road trip to London all planned, bless his little sport socks - where we would stay, who we would take, what else we could do with the kids while we were there. He was tactical about his choice of events, deliberately not going for all the most popular ones for a better chance of success.

You can imagine how devastated he was when he didn't get any tickets.

I have to admit that I wasn't quite as devastated. I hate queues, and we'll get a much better view on the telly.

The good wife that I am, I've been trying to make him feel better about his loss. This basically involves making shocked faces at news reports about the ever-increasing budget (£80m and rising at the last count and over half of this coming from the taxpayer), the ticket presale fiasco (the website was closed for a week due to "technical problems"), and repeating whatever Jeremy Vine says about it on the radio.

Hooray! Today I have another reason to make a shocked face. It was announced on the news this morning that newborn babies will need full price tickets to "see" the 2012 Olympics. Well, I almost choked on my natural yoghurt.

Because tickets first went on sale last April (15 months before the Games), many people wouldn't even have been pregnant when they bought theirs. So let me get this right - a month-old baby - let's say it's a boy, called Sebastian - who is being breastfed and therefore cannot be apart from his mother, who is going to the Olympics in a sling attached to the mother's body, has to pay for a seat? A seat that will remain unoccupied, due to the fact that said newborn baby may not be able to hold his head up unaided, let alone sit down? As far as I can see, the only "seeing" little Sebastian will be doing will be of his mother's bosoms, and that's if he opens his eyes at all during the whole thing.

How many seats are going to lie empty because the London 2012 organisers don't realise that teeny tiny babies don't have seats of their own, unless they bounce and come with secure straps and multi-coloured squeaky animals attached to them? Seats that Mr J, and other innocent victims of the ticket lottery, would snap up.

Oh, hold on a minute, the baby won't have his own seat? So what exactly is the charge for? The privilege of breathing the air inside the stadium?

While there are going to be "pay your age" concessionary tickets available at £1 for children aged one and under, after these run out a full price ticket will be the only option. What's next? A Pregnant Lady Surcharge?

According to today's Guardian, there may be a case for "indirect sex discrimination", because the policy is "more likely to affect women than men." I don't buy this. For a start, what sane woman would take a newborn baby to the Olympic Games without dragging Daddy along to help? If mum is a single parent with a low income and would face financial ruin if she had to fork out for another full price ticket for her baby, then perhaps. Hmmm, still not sure.

Whether it's indirect sex discrimination or not, it's bloomin' ridiculous. And yet more bad PR for the London Games.

(*only my opinion, of course, but I'm willing to bet you can't change my mind…)

Project 366 - Day 24/366

2012-01-24T22:51:00.002Z

Feeding the birds before bed.

Snap Slappers - Week 11

2012-01-24T11:01:00.003Z

For my Snap Slapping effort this week, I've pimped my Project 366 photo from yesterday.

I just didn't think the camera captured the redness of Littlest J's cheeks. (She's teething this week.)

If you've edited a pic this week, why not link up to Snap Slappers over at Five Go Blogging? You can also check out all the other fabulous pimped pictures!

Project 366 - Day 23/366

2012-01-23T21:50:00.001Z

Teething.

Can Mummy Make Carrot Walnut Cake?

2012-01-22T21:22:00.002Z

So I said I would make something sweet this week, and decided to attempt a carrot cake, as it's my very favourite type of cake. I'm still abstaining from wine, so I deserve a treat...

Carrot Walnut Cake

(to serve 16)

375g plain flour

2 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon salt

225g butter, softened

220g dark brown soft sugar

200g caster sugar

4 eggs

2 tablespoons orange juice

125g chopped walnuts

150g sultanas or raisins

440g grated carrots

for the icing:

225g cream cheese

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

110g butter

160g icing sugar

1. Preheat oven to 180C/350F/ Gas 4. Grease and flour a 25cm round cake tin. Sift together the flour, baking powder, bicarbonate of soda, cinnamon and salt, then set aside.

2. In a medium bowl, cream together the 225g butter, dark brown soft sugar and caster sugar. Stir in the eggs and the orange juice. Add the sifted dry ingredients, mix well. Fold in the walnuts, raisins and carrots. Pour the cake mixture into the tin.

This is me, actually baking! With an apron on and everything!

3. Bake for 1 hour in the preheated oven. Cool in the tin for 10 minutes before inverting onto a wire rack.

4. Make the icing. In a medium bowl, beat together the cream cheese, vanilla, 110g butter and icing sugar until smooth. Spread over cooled cake.

(I didn't buy enough butter, so I decided to half the ingredients, and it turned out fine. I'm beginning to realise that cooking - and baking - doesn't have to be an exact science, and that you can tweak recipes to accommodate your tastes. And things you have forgotten to buy. I didn't add the orange juice, for example, because I'm not eating citrus.)

Verdict? Bloomin' delicious, if I do say so myself...

Project 366 - Day 22/366

2012-01-22T21:08:00.000Z

Kelvingrove Museum, Glasgow. He's in heaven.

Project 366 - Day 21/366

2012-01-21T16:59:00.001Z

You wash, I'll dry.

Project 366 - Day 20/366

2012-01-20T21:05:00.002Z

Don't think she wants a cuddle.

The Bigger Picture

2012-01-20T13:47:00.001Z

My biggest achievement this week? A 25-minute run. It doesn't sound like much, but it was a massive deal for me. The last time I went for a run was so long ago, I don't remember it. It was well over six months ago.

Last weekend, I told myself I would go for a run on Tuesday. Tuesday came, and I laid my running gear out on the bed. I put my trainers in the hall. I procrastinated. A lot. Every time I walked through the house, the trainers stared me out. I moved them into the porch. When I left to go to the supermarket, I tripped over them. I threw them back into the hall.

All day long, I came up with reasons not to run. I had too much work to do, it was too cold, I couldn't find my iPod...I started thinking about why I had decided to go for a run in the first place, how I would feel if I didn't go, and why I was making such a big deal of the whole thing. I think only a therapist could give me all the answers. But what I did work out was that running makes me feel better, I would feel guilty, miserable and generally rubbish if I didn't go, and I was making such a big deal of it just because that's what I do. I knew I had to leave to pick the kids up from my mum at 7. At 6.30, I was still sitting on the sofa, a closed door between myself and the trainers. I had too much to do, I told myself. I'd definitely go running tomorrow night. I started sorting through the mountain of laundry on the spare room bed. I don't know what got into me. One minute I was pairing up socks, the next I was in my running gear and grabbing my trainers.

At 6.39 I ran out of the house, and just kept running.

I'm amazed I managed to run for 25 minutes. It felt great. I have no idea why I didn't do something I love (something that's free, and good for me) for so long. Running feels natural to me, and it's great for my mental health. No more excuses.

Project 366 - Day 19/366

2012-01-19T13:47:00.002Z

New shoes.

Project 366 - Day 18/366

2012-01-18T18:44:00.002Z

Waiting for cake.

Project 366 - Day 17/366

2012-01-17T21:50:00.001Z

Watching Tom and Jerry before bed ("just one more minute, Mummy!").

Suzannah's Banana Cake

2012-01-17T09:33:00.002Z

I'm really craving sweet things at the moment (possibly to compensate for my lack of wine) so I decided to make a lovely banana cake for my Dad's birthday party on Sunday. I followed this fab recipe from my sister-in-law:

Suzannah's Banana Cake

Preheat oven to gas mark 4/180C/350F

Mix the following in a large bowl:

3 cups of plain flour

8 ounces of butter

2 cups of sugar

2 tsp baking soda

2 tsp vanilla extract

4 very ripe bananas (almost black)

2 large eggs

1 cup natural yoghurt

1/2 tsp salt

Butter a round cake tin

Transfer the mixture to the cake tin and bake in the oven for 65-75 minutes

Now, brace yourselves, for this is not how it is supposed to look...

However, it tasted great! Only the top of the cake was burnt (I put it too close to the top of my oven). My Dad, bless him, said he liked the burnt bit.

Snap Slappers - Week 10

2012-01-17T08:49:00.002Z

Cousin J showing Little and Littlest how an iPhone works.

It may take some time before it sinks in...

We spent lots of time with the extended family over the weekend so there were many photo opportunities. It seems my two have a lot to learn from their more tech-savvy cousin (who is still only 2!!).

Join in with the Snap Slappers and see all the other Picnik-pimped pics over at Five Go Blogging.

Project 366 - Day 16/366

2012-01-16T18:12:00.001Z

Too much weekend partying.

Project 366 - Day 15/366

2012-01-15T22:12:00.001Z

Celebrating Papa's birthday with cousin J.

Project 366 - Day 14/366

2012-01-14T18:54:00.000Z

Just a reminder that I have this on my doorstep and shouldn't take it for granted.

A world without wine?

2012-01-14T13:18:00.000Z

As part of my ongoing quest for clear skin and a happy head, I've been following a super healthy (and fairly restrictive) diet for the past couple of weeks. Some things have been harder to give up than others, and I've been surprised at some of the things I've been craving the most.

I thought I would really miss wine. Really, really miss it.

I wouldn't call myself an excessive drinker. A couple of glasses of wine, a couple of times a week, was generally my lot. Hangovers and small children don't mix well. So I was in no way dependent on alcohol, but I did find myself breathing a sigh of relief on those evenings when, kids in bed, I sat down with a large glass of white, took a sip and……relaxed.

Before I started this new eating regime, I was finding my hangovers increasingly difficult to deal with, and completely disproportionate to the amount of alcohol I drank. Even two glasses of wine made me feel groggy, exhausted and in a low mood the next morning. I told myself that it was simply because I wasn't getting enough sleep (nothing I can do about this, until my children turn into lazy won't-get-out-of-bed teenagers). After I had a food intolerance test and was found to be "chemically sensitive", I started thinking about my wine drinking on another level.

Increasingly, wines are being enhanced with various chemical additives (such as powdered or liquid enological tannins, enzymes and nutrients), which are added during the vinification and aging stages to improve the aroma and flavour of the wine.

I started doing some research into alcohol and depression, and came across an interesting Huffington Post article by Jamie Lewis. He asks whether alcohol can seriously affect the mental health of a moderate drinker, and confirms what I was beginning to realise: published studies discuss the issue only in relation to those with severe alcoholism. (A report from The Royal College of Psychologists claims that there is a link between alcohol and depression: some people drink too much that it causes them to feel depressed, while others rely on alcohol to relieve anxiety or depression. In both cases, however, their subjects were excessive drinkers.)

How do I feel after almost two alcohol-free weeks? Definitely better. Hand on heart, I'm not missing wine. (Instead, I'm staring at chocolate cakes in shop windows, and drooling a little. I want sugar!) I can drink "pure" alcohol i.e. certain spirits, like vodka and gin, but haven't felt like it so far.

As with so many aspects of mental health, I have no idea whether my good mood is due to my self-imposed sobriety, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with it. I'm not planning to stay sober forever! But I've actually really enjoyed the last two weeks. I even went to a friend's birthday party, was the only ~~saddo~~ sober person there, and had a great time. (The last time I went to a party and didn't drink, Margaret Thatcher was still Prime Minister). I've been more creative, more productive, and it has been much easier to get out of bed in the morning. As anyone with depression knows, that alone is something to celebrate.

Project 366 - Day 13/366

2012-01-13T19:24:00.003Z

A quiet moment with dolly.

Can Mummy Cook Mince and Tatties?

2012-01-13T19:17:00.001Z

For week 2 I wanted to make something that the four of us would enjoy, so I decided on a good old Scottish favourite - mince and tatties. I did read a couple of recipes, but kind of made it up as I went along.

(to serve 4)

1 large onion, chopped

400g lean beef mince

2 large carrots, diced

Beef stock cube

6 large potatoes

I fried the onion in olive oil until it was soft. In the meantime, I browned the mince in a separate pan, then drained it. Then I tossed the onion, mince and carrots in the same pot, added a pint of beef stock and brought it to the boil. I left it to simmer on a low heat for 30 minutes while I mashed the potatoes.

I have to say it didn't look too appetising to begin with:

But it turned out ok in the end!

If I hadn't been making it for the kids to eat too I'd have added something to give it a bit of a kick. Many mince and tatties recipes use Worcester sauce, but I didn't have any. I'd have seasoned it too, but I don't like to add salt to the kids' food.

This looks like a good recipe for mince and tatties.

I've decided to try something sweet next week. I'm craving sugar as I'm on this stupid diet, but I'm sure it will be fine to stuff my face with cake if it's completely homemade...

Run, Mummy, Run!

2012-01-12T17:48:00.001Z

This is an extract from my diary back in September 2009:

I want to run. I want to run along beaches, up and down hills. Maybe one day along deserts, up and down mountains. I want to run from coast to coast and city to city, in the blistering heat and the freezing cold. I want to do the Race for Life, the Great North Run, the London Marathon.

Ok. First things first. I need a pair of trainers.

Well, I got the trainers. Reading that back, it's apparent that I also needed a large reality check. "along deserts, up and down mountains"?! "in the blistering heat and the freezing cold"?! Was I trying to write a novel? What a load of rubbish. Clearly, I'm nothing if not ambitious, and I had high hopes for my running before I'd even unearthed my trainers from the back of the wardrobe. After thinking about things a little more, I revised my goals:

I’m hoping to be able to run 2 miles at a steady pace. These are my fears:
1. I pass out after 200 yards.
2. Lots of people point at me and laugh.
3. A 70 year old man with a zimmer frame overtakes me.
4. I wet myself. Everyone knows the bladder isn’t the same after pregnancy…

(Things started well. Only 1 of the 4 actually happened.)

My first official "race" was the Manchester Tree-athlon, in a beautiful park on a gorgeous Autumn day. On 4th October 2009, I managed to run 5k in 27 minutes. Result! This really made me step up my training and on 18th October, I completed the Southport 10k in 53 minutes, 17 seconds. My goal had been to complete it in one hour or less, so I was amazed and elated.

I had decided that I would wean myself off my current dose of anti-depressants at the same time as throwing myself into my new hobby. I had been taking them for almost 18 months, and felt that it was the right time to stop. I felt good, home life was happy, running was a great distraction, and I had faith that all those lovely endorphins would do their job.

So I did. And everything was fine. I ran harder and faster. Running was doing wonders for my self-esteem as I grew increasingly proud of what my body and mind could achieve - without prescription drugs. Running the Stockport 10 mile road race in December (on my birthday, no less!) was one of the best days of my life. I completed it in 1 hour, 28 minutes and 8 seconds.

Then everything changed. We moved to Scotland (planned). We fell pregnant again (planned, but not expected to happen so quickly i.e. after ONE DAY). It snowed. A lot. (The UK media called the winter of 2009 "The Big Freeze.") I didn't want to run on icy roads while I was pregnant, so I stopped. Practically over night, I went from 10 miles to 0 miles.

The inevitable happened. Goodbye, endorphins. Hello, depression.

I don't think this was purely because I stopped running. Moving from Manchester to Scotland, living with my parents for three months until our house was ready, dealing with early pregnancy, dealing with an energetic 2-year old, finding myself having to make new friends and find a new job - all of these things contributed. Throw in some seriously wacky hormones and you have one severe cause of prenatal depression. (They can call it what they want, in my book whatever you put in front of it, it's still just horrible old depression.)

Anyway, I went back on my meds (yet another different one, as I was pregnant). They took forever to work, but finally they did - sort of. My trainers remained untouched throughout my entire pregnancy. My daughter was born in August 2010, and she was several months old before I joined a local running club and tried to get back to my previous 10 mile high.

I still haven't quite got there. My running over the past 12 months has been sporadic to say the least. I try to tell myself that I'm "too busy", but that's nonsense. I know I could make time every day for a 30 minute run. It's not hard. All you have to do is turn off the telly, shut down the laptop, and run. And if I'm not fit enough to run, I can walk until I can run.

I want to do the Great Scottish Half Marathon in September. It's up to me to make it happen.

Project 366 - Day 12/366

2012-01-12T17:47:00.000Z

Lunch at cousins' house. Somebody seems to be getting used to the camera...

Project 366 - Day 11/366

2012-01-11T13:38:00.001Z

I have this hanging on my wall at home. I think today is a day to be telling myself this. (pimped it on Picnik to make it more interesting.)

Project 366 - Day 10/366

2012-01-10T20:40:00.001Z

Hmmm, I asked Little J if he could spell his name. That's definitely not what he's called!

Snap Slappers - Week 9

2012-01-10T10:18:00.000Z

I'm taking part in the A Photo A Day challenge this year, so I've been snap happy this week! Here's a photo of my children looking cheeky (just for a change...)

A little bit of Picnik magic and hey presto!

My money's on the one on the right...

Head over to Five Go Blogging to check out the editing efforts of the other lovely Snap Slappers.

Present time!

2012-01-10T09:35:00.000Z

When I'm not blogging about dead pheasants and AWOL greenhouses, I'm working with my good friend Fiona on StorkUp. It has been an exciting, crazy, exhausting, challenging few months, and we're almost ready to launch the beta version of our site to our VIPs (including many of my lovely blogger friends!).

We're so happy about this that we're in a present-giving mood and are giving away two of these fabulous eco-friendly children's bookcases from bigbooklittlebookcardboardbox on our site. Find out more about our giveaway here.

Project 366 - Day 9/366

2012-01-09T23:01:00.004Z

Big brother's first day back at nursery. So excited to be going to pick him up!

Project 366 - Day 8/366

2012-01-08T17:59:00.001Z

Clearly Littlest J is fed up with all this photography malarkey.

I've linked up to TheBoyandMe's 366 linky, which she has set up for Project 366-ers to share their best pics from the week, support one another and just generally spread the love! Click the badge to find out more.

Project 366 - Day 7/366

2012-01-07T15:52:00.002Z

A walk down the beach. Putting on a brave face despite the wind and the rain.

Highs and Lows of 2011

2012-01-07T10:10:00.002Z

Thanks to Melksham Mum, aka @MelkshamMum, for tagging me! It's nice to look back over 2011 before bidding farewell to it once and for all. Here are my highs and lows...

1. What was your happiest event?

Waking up on Christmas morning in our own house - for the first time ever.

2. What was the saddest thing to happen?

I don't know if "sad" is the right word (bloody awful, more like), but my daughter burning her hand was definitely the worst thing to happen. She put her hand into my husband's soup and suffered terrible burns. Social services got involved and it was a really horrible time.

3. What was the most unlikely thing to happen that actually went ahead and did?

I didn't think in a million years I would end up going into business again. I was a full-time, stay at home mum doing little bits of freelance writing when I had the time. This all changed in September when I became a co-founder of StorkUp. Since then, my friend, fellow mum and co-founder Fiona and I have been working away to get StorkUp ready to launch. We have high hopes for it as the best social shopping community for mums and mums-to-be...watch this space! (Shameless plug I know, but you did ask!!)

4. Who let you down?

A close family member.

5. Who supported you?

My husband - he might not shout it from the rooftops, but I always know he has my back.

6. Tell us something you learnt.

That the second year of marriage is no easier than the first! (despite my answer to 5 above!)

7. Tell us one thing that made you laugh.

My two children. I can't think of one thing in particular - they make me laugh on a daily basis. Some of my 4-year old's one-liners are hilarious, and the way he and his sister interact when they don't know I'm watching often has me in stitches.

8. Tell us one thing that made you cry.

One thing every day, or from the whole year?! I'm a cry baby at the best of times. I cried for practically an entire day in December. I had tonsillitis - on my birthday, no less! - and everything was getting on top of me. Work, kids, Christmas preparations, family politics...as we say here in Scotland, I needed a good bubble.

9. Tell us 3 things your child(ren) did to make you feel proud.

1. Littlest J started to eat proper food, after over 12 months of exclusive breast feeding (this was entirely her choice and nothing to do with me!)
2. Little J started at his new nursery and settled in really well, making lots of new friends.
3. Little J is turning into a sweet, kind, polite little boy (for the most part...)

10. Tell us one thing that made you proud of yourself.

I started to blog and revealed my history of depression to the world (ok, to my handful of readers, but potentially the rest of the world could read about it if they so desired).

11. Tell us one challenge you overcame.

I feel like my challenges are a work in progress, so I'd like to answer this one next year!

12. Is there anything you would like to change about your life in 2012?

Lots of things! I'd love to get rid of my psoriasis and stop taking anti-depressants. I want to find the strength to stop wasting time on people who do nothing for my mental or emotional wellbeing.

What were your highs and lows of 2011?

Can Mummy Cook Gratin of Fish with Cheese, Tomatoes and Herbs?

2012-01-06T21:00:00.000Z

For my inaugural Can Mummy Cook? dish, I went for a healthy option to make up for all the festive excesses.

(to serve 6)

150g Gruyere cheese, grated
2 tbsp natural yoghurt
2 tbsp creme fraiche
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
18 cherry tomatoes
1 generous tsp fresh thyme leaves
750g filleted and skinned plaice

Preheat oven to 180C/350F/gas mark 4. In a bowl, mix grated cheese with yoghurt and creme fraiche, add a little black pepper and set aside. Cut cherry tomatoes in half, season with a little salt and sprinkle with the herbs.

Spread half the cheese mixture in a gratin dish (or individual ovenproof dishes). Lay half the fish on top, then add all the tomatoes and herbs. Add the second layer of fish, followed by the second layer of cheese mixture. Place dish in fridge until ready to cook it.

Cook in the preheated oven for 20-30 minutes until golden and bubbly.

I served it with a green salad and made a honey and mustard dressing (honey, Dijon mustard, white wine vinegar, extra virgin olive oil, pepper - I just chucked random amounts in a bowl and mixed it up).

Ta da!

It was very yummy, if I do say so myself, and Mr J said he liked it too. Not a bad start!

[Note to self: Do potatoes to go with it next time - an hour later and we were both ravenous...]

Project 366 - Day 6/366

2012-01-06T19:23:00.003Z

It has just been one of those days.

My Three Books

2012-01-06T10:24:00.001Z

When A Mummy Too asked if I wanted to write about my three favourite books (one from childhood, one from adulthood and one from parenthood), the only doubt in my mind was whether I could narrow it down to three. I love to read. I remember bedtimes as a child, waiting until my mum had gone downstairs then reading under the covers with a night light (she knew all about it, so I clearly wasn't as clever as I thought). I'm sure my love of reading kick-started my love of writing.

I could list 100 books that I absolutely love. But I'm only allowed to name three, so here goes…

#3Books

Childhood

First Term at Malory Towers by Enid Blyton (1946)

The world of Malory Towers (Cornish boarding school, tuck boxes, house mistresses and matrons) was about as far removed as you could get from my upbringing at a bog standard primary school in a small Scottish town. I think that's part of the reason I loved this series so much. I know now that I would have hated boarding school, but my 8-year old self longed to go and have midnight feasts with Darrell, Sally, Gwendoline, Mary Lou et al. Oooh, how much do I want to go and find these books on the internet and read them again?! (but with the original 1940s covers, not the horrible new "cartoon" ones). I can feel a mission coming on…

Adulthood

The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger (1951)

I first read this book as a teenager on the cusp of adulthood, and have returned to it again and again over the years. I don't find Salinger the best writer (and was disappointed in some of his other books) but Holden Caulfield, the main character, is nothing short of amazing. If you've ever felt a bit lost, a bit alienated, or just a bit crazy, you have to read this book. Salinger's depiction of human nature is both depressing and fascinating. Over the years, The Catcher in the Rye has been the subject of as much controversy as it has praise, meaning every time I read it I pick up on something a little different.

Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody - Holden Caulfied, Chapter 26.

Genius.

Parenthood

Charlie Cook's Favourite Book by Julia Donaldson (2005)

This is a tough one - the whole family love the Julia Donaldson/Axel Scheffler books. I think the favourite has to be Charlie Cook's Favourite Book. Scheffler's illustrations, as always, are amazing, with so much on each page to keep the children entranced. Donaldson's words takes the reader's imagination on a wonderful journey: to a desert island, a haunted house and outer space. It's a funny book, with lots of jokes. To top it off, this book is a celebration of books. For a mum who is an avid reader, I couldn't ask for anything more.

What are your three favourite books? If you'd like to take part, visit A Mummy Too for details.

Project 366 - Day 5/366

2012-01-05T19:39:00.001Z

This is what happens when Mummy cooks!!!! Almost as messy as the kitchen...

Project 366 - Day 4/366

2012-01-04T15:55:00.002Z

Oh dear. He knows how to work my MacBook...

Pumpkin seed, anyone?

2012-01-04T15:52:00.000Z

Day 4 of my very first A Photo A Day project and it's going well. Only 362 days left to go!

In my first post of the year, I spoke about some of my goals for 2012 and some other challenges I had set myself. Taking care of my mental and physical health over the next 12 months was not really a decision - more of a necessity. But I'm sick of taking medication (on and off for the last 14 years) and applying harsh steroid creams to my skin (to treat my psoriasis). I've decided to go down the natural route, and the first step is to consider every single thing I'm putting into my body.

A friend had been for a food allergy/intolerance test last year and her experience intrigued me. For a long time I had suspected that my diet and lifestyle could be triggering/exacerbating bouts of depression and psoriasis (not always linked, incidentally - that would make things too easy!) I think I'm a fairly healthy eater, but I do like my pizza, wine, chocolate and crisps. When I was pregnant with my little ones I gave myself free reign to eat whatever I fancied, using the old "eating for two" excuse (which I've since learned is absolute b*llocks). As well as piling on 4 stone, my skin condition didn't improve, and nor did my mental health.

I consider myself to be a bit of an expert (purely self-appointed, of course) when it comes to depression and psoriasis, simply because I've suffered from both for almost half my life. I know these two nasty b*stards inside out. I've read all the books, trawled the forums, spoken to dozens of health professionals. I've also tried everything to "cure" myself of them.

Over the past 12 months I have begun to accept that I will probably never be "cured" of depression. It is part of me. What I need to do is live with it, and do everything I can to keep healthy and happy. I already knew that there was no cure for psoriasis. Scientists and researchers remain baffled by this stubborn, horrible skin condition. Some treatments work well for some sufferers, and do absolutely nothing for others. It is entirely possible that I could wake up tomorrow and my skin will be completely clear. It is, unfortunately, just as likely that I will wake up and be covered in it - head to toe. I recently had a course of UVB light treatment, which cleared my skin. I had three weeks of skipping around in sleeveless tops, showing off my smooth arms to anyone who gave me so much as a fleeting glance, before it returned with a vengeance, worse than before.

Although there appear to me no definites when it comes to psoriasis, one thing I am pretty convinced of is that stress and/or depression can be a trigger. So my new healthy eating regime is two-fold. Feel better on the inside, and *fingers crossed* this will be reflected on the outside.

I went to the food allergy specialist fully expecting to be told to cut out wheat, dairy, sugar, wine (i.e. everything that tastes good). I had done lots of research into common food triggers for skin complaints, and the main culprits that popped up again and again were tomatoes, peppers, potatoes and aubergines (the "nightshade" family), dairy products and alcohol. Many sufferers followed a gluten-free diet and found that it made a huge difference to their skin. So I was in for a surprise.

The test took around an hour, and involved measuring my electrical resistance to over 100 substances, including all the common foods and drinks. A bio-electronic analyser (basically a metal pen touching the tip of my finger on an acupuncture point) detected what substances were causing problems (because there was a change in my body's electrical resistance). My vitamin and mineral levels were also testing, so that I could see what ones were low or deficient in my body.

The good news: I can keep eating pasta! And potatoes! And dairy (within reason)!

The bad: no caffeine (i.e chocolate), crisps, citrus fruits, cream or ice cream.

The ugly: no artificial flavourings, colourings or preservatives WHATSOEVER. I reacted really badly to these chemicals. So it's goodbye to anything with a number on it. I have since learned that this means around 80% of the contents of my kitchen cupboards. No more beans on toast. No more Ribena. No coloured cheese, flavoured yoghurt. No cheesy Quavers. No Indian or Chinese takeaway. No wine...*sob*

I have no idea whether making drastic changes to my diet will do what I hope it will. But I'm ready to give it my best shot. I've decided to blog about it, because I think this will motivate me to stick to it, and it ties in nicely with another project I'm planning to undertake this year.

Yes, Daddy can cook, but it's time Mummy did too. The fact that I received no less than three recipe books for Christmas this year suggests that my family thinks so too. I have no excuse. And as I'm not allowed anything from a tin, jar or plastic container, I'm going to have to make a lot of my food from scratch. As well as making all my own sauces, dressings etc, I'll be tackling a different recipe every week recording the results on my blog.

Can Mummy Cook? I guess time will tell!

Snap Slappers - Week 8

2012-01-03T22:22:00.002Z

For this week's Snap Slappers I've taken today's Project 366 photo and pimped it up using Picnik. Check out Five Go Blogging for more info on Snap Slappers and to see who else has linked up.

Project 366 - Day 3/366

2012-01-03T19:25:00.003Z

Home at last after battling our way through yet another wild Scottish storm. Bathed and ready for bed, normal life resumes tomorrow!

Project 366 - Day 2/366

2012-01-02T16:59:00.003Z

A sleepy day in Northumberland, waiting for new baby cousin (grandchild no. 9) to be born...

Hello 2012!

2012-01-01T21:38:00.004Z

2011 was the year that (in no particular order):

We were referred to social services after my daughter stuck her hand in a bowl of piping hot soup
I watched my son and daughter form an incredible bond
I made some amazing new friends
I realised how hard marriage is
I ran 10k in 52 minutes
I failed miserably at being a domestic goddess
An exciting business opportunity came my way
Our kitchen ceiling fell down
I stopped running
I took my first steps back into the writing world
I realised that it's time to focus more energy on people who make me feel happy and healthy, and less on those who make me feel upset, angry or bitter
My husband shot 10 pheasants and skinned them on my kitchen table (yeah, I know - still going on about the pheasants)
I started to blog

Loads of other stuff happened - the good, the bad and the ugly - but these are the things that spring to mind first, for whatever reason.

I've realised a few things about myself this year.

1. I need to be very careful what I put into my body, as it has a huge effect on both my mental and physical health. I've buried my head in the sand about this for too long, and it's time to take action. A recent visit to a food allergy/intolerance specialist confirmed this.

2. I need to set myself lots of different goals, constantly. Since I started my blog I've become aware of so many great projects, such as Project 366. As I like a challenge, I've set myself a few Project 366 challenges. Only one is a photography challenge inspired by the original "A Photo A Day" Project 365 concept (I'm going to post a photo on my blog every day for the next 366 days), but each of my challenges requires a certain amount of time and effort every day.

3. I feel awful when I don't exercise. An inflammatory viral infection at the start of the summer put an abrupt stop to my running and this combined with a stressful family holiday left me feeling depressed and unmotivated.

So I guess I have a lot of work to do.

Project 366 - Day 1/366

2012-01-01T16:54:00.000Z

What better way to start off 2012 (and Project 366) than with a kiss?

"12 Days Of Christmas"...with a twist

2011-12-21T13:47:00.001Z

On the first day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
A partridge in a pear tree.

On the second day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the third day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the sixth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me...

(wait for it)

Ten DEAD PHEASANTS.

Yes, TEN dead pheasants. My true love (or rather, my husband) went into a forest in Northumberland and shot ten pheasants out of the sky. He then put them into two bin bags, put them in the boot of the car and delivered them to me with an air-punching gesture that I can only describe as triumphant.

I'm ashamed to say that I ran away. I ran upstairs, shut myself in my bedroom and was instantly taken back to my teenage years, when I told my parents I wanted to be vegetarian because "killing animals is cruel" and my mum (quite rightly) replied that she was fine with that, but I would have to make my own meat-free meals. A similar door-slamming, sulking episode ensued when I spotted the foot of an innocent pheasant poking out of a hole in the bin bag.

While I don't fancy partaking in the sport myself (or the thought of my children doing it, but this is an argument we can look forward to having in a few years' time - I can hardly wait...) I fully accept that my husband is from a family of hunter/gatherers (ahem). But I do NOT want ten dead pheasants in my house. Even when they were moved to the shed, I still kept thinking about them, a shiver going down my spine every time.

I won't go into what happened when it was time for the pheasants to come back into the house to be skinned, chopped up and packed into the freezer. Suffice to say, I spent the evening upstairs, wearing my old Greenpeace T shirt and downloading anthems from my teenage years.

It's pheasant casserole for dinner on Boxing Day. I'll be politely declining.

Snap Slappers - Week 6

2011-12-20T21:20:00.001Z

Back for more Picnik action this week and as it's only five sleeps until The Big Day, how could I not go for a festive theme?

This is one of my favourite pictures of Little and Littlest J, which you might have spotted elsewhere on my blog.

So I wanted to see what I could do to it using the wonder that is Picnik.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Check out the fab blog Five Go Blogging to learn more about Snap Slappers, and to see who else has linked up this week.

Merry Chaos

2011-12-20T20:50:00.002Z

It's been a crazy couple of weeks, with Little J's birthday and of course all the preparations for Christmas as well as the usual daily chaos of family life and All The Things That Go Wrong When You Really Don't Want Them To (to name a few - damp patches on the kitchen wall, another bathroom disaster and a curtain pole falling down*).

My mind is confused, overworked and exhausted. I forgot to take Little J to a birthday party last week, posted Christmas cards with the wrong stamps on them (sorry, Irish family!) and have left my purse on the counter of not one but TWO shops in the past two days. To borrow one of the favourite phrases of a very wise man**, if I had a brain I'd be dangerous.

This evening I realised that I'm so busy rushing around, trying to make sure everything is perfect and that my children have a great birthday and Christmas, I'm having a rubbish time myself. Who really cares if I don't have festive napkins when friends come over on Christmas Eve for drinks? Why do I feel guilty that I haven't bought as many toys for Littlest J as her big brother? She's only 15 months old and likes to play with yoghurt pots.

So for the next few days I'm going to make a real effort to chill out. We're running five minutes late for nursery, what's the worst that can happen? Maybe the house won't be spotless for our Christmas guests - a few mulled wines and they won't notice.

All I want for Christmas is to de-stress.

(* confession: I may have had a part to play in this…was getting "creative" with my Christmas decorations.)

** my dad